


After Earth

by brooksey



Category: Mass Effect
Genre: Doomed Relationship, F/M, Fluff, Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-08-10
Updated: 2014-08-10
Packaged: 2018-02-12 14:43:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,180
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2113836
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/brooksey/pseuds/brooksey
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>On the way to Earth, Kaidan finds he has something he needs to say to Shepard.</p>
            </blockquote>





	After Earth

**Author's Note:**

> The idea that promises were made before London, not knowing the end that was coming for Shepard, always kills me. I think this is what is often referred to as "tooth-rotting fluff", but also sad, at least to me. Brief mention of Leviathan DLC.
> 
> This is my very first fanfic -- please be gentle.

Sometime during the Normandy's night cycle, Kaidan lay in bed with Shepard, his head resting on her shoulder, his fingers tracing lightly over her collarbone as she slept.  He was wide awake, himself.  He'd come to her cabin that night, the same as he had the night before Ilos, the same as the night before the assault on Cerberus Headquarters.  Those other nights, they had come together eagerly, made love to affirm their connection, their feelings, the simple fact that they were _alive_ , at least for now — but tonight was different.  Tonight, they were on their way to Earth, trying to fit in as much rest — as much time together — as they could before landing in London.  And after Earth, they knew, everything was going to change. The war would be over, one way or another.  They could both feel the certainty of it, heavy on their shoulders, a weight that left them weary and raw.  
  
Somehow, without speaking, they'd come to an agreement.  Tonight wasn't for lovemaking, but for a more simple closeness, just being near each other. They'd slid under the covers and closed the gap between them immediately, every part of their bare bodies touching.  Legs twined together, arms wrapped around each other, pulling themselves as close as they could manage.  Then... they had just lain together, each of them soaking up the other's presence.  Her hands had drifted across his shoulders; his fingers had drawn tiny circles in the small of her back as he'd buried his face in the hollow of her neck.  Eventually, Shepard had fallen asleep, shifted.  He hadn't.  
  
Now, his thoughts crowded in on each other, one shifting quickly to the next.  He was sure, now, of something he suspected he'd known for a long time but hadn't addressed, hadn't allowed himself to think about.  He turned it all over in his mind, a sequence of moments and emotions flashing past.  Before Ilos, the amazing memories of that night, of waking up next to Shepard, and how wonderfully warm and safe he had felt with her.  Horizon, and how sickened he had been when he'd realized what he'd done; to her, to _them_.  Their date at the cafe, and how anxious he had been when he'd told her how he felt, scared he would hear that she had moved on for good, and the thrill he'd gotten when she'd said she felt the same way about him as he did about her.  And here, tonight, knowing that now that he had her back, he could never stand to be without her again.  
  
That last thought brought up an incredible desire to burrow his face into her skin, to crush her into his arms.  He tried to control the feeling to avoid waking her, but couldn't, not quite.  His arms tightened around her only slightly, but she stirred.  
  
"Hey," she murmured, eyes still closed.  
  
"Hey."  
  
"Can't sleep?"  
  
"No. Too much going on in my head."  
  
"Mmm," she replied in a drowsy voice, "that's no good.  What are you thinking about?"  
  
"Us, mostly," he whispered.  His throat was already tightening, almost couldn't get the words out.  He resisted the urge to squeeze her against him again.  
  
"Oh, that doesn't sound so bad."  She snuggled closer to him, resting her cheekbone on the top of his head, and let out a soft sigh, beginning to drop back into sleep.  
  
He hesitated for only a moment, wanting to let her rest before the fight of her life, but knowing that he had to say what was on his mind.  He lifted his head, resting his chin on her chest to look up at her face, so beautiful and peaceful.  His voice sounded low and husky in his ears when he spoke.  "Shepard..."  
  
"Hmm?"  
  
"Marry me."  
  
Her sleepy eyes cracked open a little to look down at him, a hint of a smirk on her lips, while one hand reached up and stroked his hair back from his face.  "Right now?  I suppose we could get Admiral Hackett to do it over the vidcomm," she said mischievously.  "He might not appreciate the interruption, though, all things considered. And now's a bad time for a court martial."  
  
He chuckled, a low rumbling sound, and moved his hand to her cheek, brushing his fingers along her jawline, up to trace the shape of her ear, tucking a stray lock of hair behind it.  "No, not right now. I'm pretty sure Mom would kill me if I tried it, anyway. But, Shepard... I'm being serious. Marry me."  
  
Her eyes opened wider, fully awake now. She looked down at him, waiting quietly, seeing on his face that he had more that he needed to say.  
  
"I love you so much, Shepard.  More than I had ever imagined I could love someone. After everything we've been through, all the crazy things I've seen you pull off and come back from, I've realized that I can't ever lose you again.  Sometimes, watching the love of your life drop to the bottom of the ocean in a jury-rigged diving mech will do that to a guy, you know?" 

She laughed softly and threaded her fingers through his hair, her other hand coming up to rest on his forearm.  "And I know that now, with Earth so close, everything ending..."  He frowned slightly, and pressed on.  "But you know what?  I'm not worried.  I know you, Shepard, and I _know_ you can do this.  I'm sure of it.  You'll pull us through, all of us, and you and I are both going to come out on the other side of this alive and kicking.  And when we do, I want you with me.  Forever."  
  
She stayed silent, studying him with those eyes he loved.  He took a deep, steadying breath.  All that confessing had him feeling nervous, exposed.  He knew she loved him, but this was a little more serious than a simple _I love you_.  He closed his eyes, trying to tamp down the fear that was starting to well up inside him.  
  
"Okay."  
  
The fear evaporated instantly.  His eyes flew open and a broad smile took over his entire face.  He felt warm all over, like he was glowing inside and out, and actually had to glance with his peripheral vision to see if his biotics had flared at her response.  "Okay, you'll marry me?"  
  
"Yes."  Her smile was glowing, too, and her eyes were shining in the dim light, thumb brushing away a bit of wetness that had formed at the corner of his own eye.  She raised herself up to kiss him softly, and briefly pressed her forehead to his before laying back down, eyes closing.  "After Earth."  
  
He nodded and put his head back down to her shoulder, this time not bothering to hold back the need to bring her tight into the curve of his body.  Just now, he needed to feel his arms around her, feel her next to him, right where she should be, always, and where she always would be from now on.  
  
"Yeah.  After Earth."


End file.
